Good gravy! Middle of January and I’m beat. Needless to say, life has gotten busy. Busy is a wonderful, life-changing, heart-fluttering way. I’m getting ready for my book, Letter to 20, to come out with two weekend features in Canton and Cleveland the first weekend of February. I’m writing haiku like a mad-woman so I can defend my crown at the First Draft Haiku Nu-Ku Deathmatch this Friday. Saturday is the Midnight Shift performance of Labyrinth at the Grandview Theatre, and Sunday I’m auditioning for America’s Got Talent. And I’e squeezed in some painting.
I used to dream of being this busy when I was living in small towns. I dreamed of friends who wanted to spend time with me, of doing adventurous things that fill page after page in journals. I dreamed that I was someone that people might actually want to listen to, that my voice and my story were worth something to someone.
I feel that, now. It feels like a dream. I sometimes fear waking up and not having a future, of still being stuck in a dead-end marriage, with hope taunting me. I wake up scared that I will lose these beautiful people in my life, these wondrous adventures that I have gone on, and my Mister. I don’t want to feel the same emptiness I felt in 2010.The emptiness I felt from 1997 through 2010. I’ve come too far. It’s worth being tired knowing I made my day count.
Okay… enough being sappy. I told you I did some painting.
I call it Jade Plant. It’s an abstract based off my own plant here at home. The jade has been in the family since I was born… which means we’re both old. I varnished it tonight, and my Mister wants to buy a frame and put it up. He says it’s his favorite piece that I’ve done. I’m still beaming over that one.